I often wonder why I receive 2 different feedbacks to what I write/talk. Many say that I share profound/positive messages, and the few others say I am negative/arrogant. I once concluded that it is because “people only listen to what they want to listen”. It is true, but I realize another reason for it. I am “too honest”. My words are “too confident”. In the Internet world where anyone can insist on anything with their own opinion, sharing the actual experience without worrying about being liked/disliked may be considered as negative, or even arrogant. I fear being judged. But, I know what I am doing here, so when someone crosses the line, I am not scared of pointing out.
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Ever since I started living in English, the word “passive-aggressive” puzzles me. I guess I am getting it, but still in the process of learning. In today’s society, being liked (or receiving positive reviews from the general public) seems to be a key to success. I try my best to get positive feedback, but I have something more important – which is “caring” as I have been saying here.
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We teach our children how important “caring” is. “Good manners”, “Say ‘thank you’”, “Share your toys”, most of the daily discipline is about teaching them how to care for others. Do we teach our child to be liked by everyone by faking? Then, when do we change? What I want to share is “Sashiko”, not only the technique or patterns for one’s “Art”.
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実は僕、英語でのコメントで、時に「ネガティブで傲慢だ」と批判を受けることがあります。「また読みたいことだけ読んでるんだろうな」と納得するようにはしているのですが、ふと気がついたことがあります。”インターネットという虚像”が当たり前の日々では、僕の言葉は正直すぎるのかもしれません。「人様に好かれよう」と思って刺し子を紹介している訳ではなく、「刺し子って何だろ？」という興味と使命だけなので、失礼な人には「失礼だぞ」って突っ込むあたり、敵は作るんだろうと思います。「事なかれ主義」が良くないとされる日本文化ですが、英語圏でも表面だけ飾り好かれようとする人は少なくないです。興味の有る方は、「受動攻撃」という言葉を調べて頂ければ幸いです。次回はそれについて語ろかな。
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2020-09-24 15:40:48
全部よんでないってことですね
ひとはりひとはり
自分に向き合えますねー
I have always tried to live by how I was taught by my grandparents. If you can’t say something positive do say anything. This has taught me ways of talking about negative issues in the positive. Please keep posting the positives of your work.
Oops that’s should be if you can’t say something positive don’t say anything. 😉
I’m agree with you👍🏽
«The wise man once said nothing …» is one of my favourites … considering anything one says can be interpreted according to the receiver’s filters, your message becomes a sort of kaleidoscope 💙💚💛💕
I am grateful that you continue to post even in the face of passive-aggressive commentary. I think that all of us, depending on how we are experiencing our lives at any given time, may find ourselves unconsciously sensitive to the opinions of others, and therefor respond in an aggressive or passive aggressive manner to things we find disagreeable. And that is OK. The best approach in responding back is compassion. We can all use compassion. If there were more of it, there would be less anger in the world. Keep posting. 🙏❤️
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Don’t worry friend- I’ve lived here and spoken English all my life and *I* don’t understand passive-aggressive people AT ALL. I don’t understand why they are not direct. I think because they are not direct in the way they speak and act, they find it alarming/negative when someone is direct and clear. When a passive-stressing person speaks, they have a hidden agenda/feeling. Because this is true for them, they assume it is true for you as well. 👎🏼. Don’t worry about their dark, care for your light. ❤️
I share your wondering. I like people being honest but I have always learned to give feedback while respecting the receiving end. Make sure the feedback is something the other person can work with and help them to improve.
At first sight, your posts seemed quite harsh towards people who used the words Sashiko an Boro in a “wrong” way. Finding out you were wrong is not a nice place to be, learning how to do better is. Your posts open up that process, point out where improvement is needed and open up the roads to improvement. People who see negativity only see the part where you point out where improvement is needed but miss the map you provide that leads to understanding and learning. Please keep posting, I am inspired by your work and your way of teaching.
…Beautiful fabric, wise words 👍🏼
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The written word can be both beautiful or very biting. I find my understanding of your words and work to come from a place l may never be able to know. I have nevrr been perfect in my “attempts of Art I love”, l try and am excited by new challenges whetheer knitting or “pen & ink”, simple drawing with real ink from 3rd gr@de. It is calming for mr.
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