It is funny to keep diagnosing my own emotion… and I concluded that it is okay to have “Anger”. I realized that “Anger” isn’t 100% accurate – the word to describe my emotion seems not to exist in English, and therefore it was difficult for me to explain. It is “悔しい – Kuyashi” – it is what I feel toward the Sashiko introduced in English.
☆
In possible translation, “悔しい” may be translated to “Frustrating”, “Upset”, “Regretful”, “Mortifying”, or even “Annoying”. Each word has some aspect of “悔しい”, but they do not fully explain the feeling I have. Anger is close, but not the exact same. The feeling requires more explanation of the word. In this context, “悔しい” is the “Anger to myself who doesn’t have enough power to protect something precious in Sadness. Sad Anger to own for being powerless”.
☆
This may be different from the definition of Anger in English. It is toward myself for being so powerless. I wish I could introduce more Japanese Sashiko Artisans in Japan, yet I have (almost) no power to do so. It requires a lot of “steps”. I wish I could support small suppliers more in Japan, yet I don’t have funds for that. One of the big reasons for me to feel powerless is the “Language” and “Cultural Difference” (I have to explain the Japanese Culture in English in introducing Sashiko). Therefore, I feel it is unfair, yet I do not know how to “change” it while the others are changing what we cherish for. Anger toward myself with a nuance of Sadness – and I am pretty sure I am not the only one who feel like this about their culture (and anything they wish to protect).
☆
–
–
–
☆
4年間抱え続けてきた言葉にならなかった感情。なぜか今朝、ふと、それって「悔しさ」なんじゃないと思うに至りました。英語でずーっと思考を重ねていたから思いつかなかったのか、はたまた向き合うことから逃げていたのか。結局の所、私は今の英語圏の刺し子の流れを良しとすることが悔しいんだろうと。怒りとか苛立ちとかより、悔しさという言葉が一番腑に落ちています。そんなことも含めて、本日9月1日の夜の日本語の刺し子配信を聞いて頂けると嬉しいです。「悔しさ」についての詳細はもちろんのこと、なぜ悔しいのかも含めて今の私の刺し子への思いを流れとしてご理解頂ける回になったのではと思っています。配信を御覧下さった皆様、配信中にコメントを下さった方々に感謝です。
☆
「悔しい」とは、つまり私自身はまだまだ前を向いているのです。どこまで形にできるかわかりませんが、願いと祈り、両方をしっかり残せるように頑張ろうと思います。
☆
2023-09-02 02:39:16
🙏🏼🪷🪡🧵
Like Linda comments above, I think that you are doing a great job putting out in the world what sashiko means. Unfortunately, change is never straightforward nor easy particularly when it involves cultural differences but having someone like yourself talking about it and getting it noticed by others who talk about it to yet more people, understanding, change and appreciation will happen. Perhaps non-Japanese could label their interpretation of sashiko as ‘in the style of’ rather than saying it is sashiko.
Just a reminder: you don’t need to do it all yourself. You have a motley of students that can help.
Thank you for helping open up the language nuances for those of us who do not speak or read Japanese.
I like your definition of “kuyashi.”. You are right that we have no word for exactly that feeling in English, although I have read many attempts to express it. Thank you for sharing about these difficult matters.
I am an English speaker who had the privilege to live in Japan for 3 years. The experience changed my life. May I offer some other words that may add to your personal dialog? Concern, passionate, reverence, respect, honor and honorable. Such words may possibly fill in the gaps when describing the honor for a treasured sensei (I hope I have spelled correctly). I learned so much about the reverence for the craftsmanship and relationships between student and teacher in Japan. It is a rich part of my memory
Please continue to share what you can from yourself and other sashiko artisans. I always enjoy reading your posts and insights.
Te saludo desde Argentina !! No hablo japonés, pero si algo de inglés … no practico Sashiko pero amo tus posteos, tu defensa a tu cultura, tus tiempos, tus habilidades … por favor seguí intentando explicar Sashiko al mundo, en el idioma que sea, y explicando incluso la palabra que no tiene traducción literal porque nos estás enseñando mucho … mucho mucho 💜🇦🇷💜
Why do you continue to promote the art if it brings you so much anger? I rarely see a positive post from you. I lived in Japan for awhile and purchased several pieces. I am a prolific hand sewer, but you have discouraged me from exploring this technique. Perhaps that is your purpose. Regretable.
I understand what you are saying completely! Seeing you in the studio and listening to your stories, I appreciate your view of Sashiko! I also feel frustrated when I see how some are teaching Sashiko, it is difficult to explain; it’s just not right! Even reading the questions some ask, makes me realize that some have no clue! Stay true to yourself, those who know you and have learned authentic Sashiko understand.
With your consistent and persistent efforts, you will slowly help others understand the essence of what you feel and what Sashiko is. This being of it and of you may never be fully understood by people from the outside of Japan, but do not stop, even if it means experiencing Kuyashi. I’m an Indian and I understand what you mean. Many of our concepts lay metamorphosed into the larger world’s existence, the essence of it lost.
Je t’ai entendu et je t’écoute. J’ai été en contact pour la première fois avec le Sashiko grâce à Domestika. En ce qui me concerne, j’ai été attiré par l’histoire et les valeurs derrière le Sashiko. Je n’arrive pas à tout comprendre à cause de la barrière de la langue. Mais pour moi il est très important d’approfondir le Sashiko. C’est tellement plus qu’une belle broderie! Cependant, certaine personne vont apprendre le Sashiko et rester en “surface”. Mais l’information existe pour ceux qui veulent plus. Une chose est certaine, grâce à vous j’ai pu débuter l’apprentissage du Sashiko comme un art complexe. Merci. Et je vous en prie, il ne faut pas oublier que les processus de changement sont lents et qu’ils poursuivent leur propre route.
♥️Beautiful stitches and words. Thank you for explaining some of the nuance of Japanese.🙏
💗 understand the feeling and it is difficult for me a native English speaker to express, English doesn’t do a good job with explaining emotions. Care to you as you care for your culture ❤️
😮😮😮😮😮😮