Today’s post is very personal, not much about Sashiko & out of my comfort zone, but I am overwhelmed & I would like to share. I am an immigrant to the US. I was born in Japan and had never been outside of Japan until high school graduation. My wife is also an immigrant. My daughter carries our culture – Jewish, Ukrainian, Japanese, and her own culture, American.
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I occasionally feel so terrible that I do not take my daughter to travel, or even small theme parks. When I am in huge emotional labor, I don’t even play with her – ask her to play by herself. I explained to her why we are a bit different from “normal”. We need to work to make ends meet. Our close relatives are over the ocean, and it is difficult to communicate well due to the different languages. Being an immigrant itself is challenging. However, the fact that I sometimes prioritize my work over father-daughter time cannot be justified so easily. My explanation to her is merely an excuse. Well… However… I need to speak up about Sashiko even if I cry in front of the screen while turning my back to her.
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Sashiko & Boro are becoming something different from what I have received. When she grows up, she will find out her father was in “Sashiko”. I want her to understand Sashiko “as is” I now understand – not as the marketing terms by someone with ignorance & indifference. If I may wish, I want her to accept who she is. I know she will go through a difficult time – she is smart, curious, and very stubborn like her father. I actually appreciate the “trend” of Sashiko today although it is sometimes too painful. I now realize the importance of “my own voice” – to pass down something we are so proud of, to our own child, to someone like my daughter. This is my (almost) desperate Story-Telling with all I have now in. Sashiko is someone’s memory & identity, not a marketing term to get money or attention.
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刺し子と娘を同列に思う時、ふと百恵ちゃんの秋桜が頭に流れることがあります。「山口百恵の秋桜」という7文字だけで情景が浮かぶのが文化であり、私が何よりも大切にしたいものなのです。絶対に塗り替えちゃいけないものってあると思うのですよ。私はそれをどこまで残せるか。父親としてのエゴかもしれませんが、できる限りのことはしておきたいのです。
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2022-07-20 01:34:59
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Yesterday I found a nhk program about a invisible mending technique developed by a Japanese craftmen. He learned by himself by trial and error. His regrets now was didn’t stay enough time with her daughter. Now their daughter takes his legacy in clothes repair and he is very proud of her. ❤️ Was ver hear moving.
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I feel bad for you. I know you are trying your best to to teach your daughter. Just know you are not alone. My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers and thoughts.❤️❤️❤️❤️
It must be very difficult to be so far from your family and where you lived. I wish to understand the true meaning of boro and sashiko. It is so beautiful! This is why it is so popular now. All through history people see a pattern or technique, and they use it because of its beauty without learning it’s meaning and history. This is disrespectful, and I am sorry it makes you feel bad. Please teach me, I want to know the meaning of boro and sashiko, so I may use it properly. Thank you.
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Children are very perceptive. They know instinctively when time is not given due to something greater than selfish love or due to lack of love. Let me share my ‘story’. My dad was a surgeon. In my childhood, he never had time for us as some or the other patient needed his time. Many a picnics had to be cancelled at the last minute as there was an emergency case. My memory of these cancelled picnics are very disappointing. We also resented him for not showing us that we mattered. Fast forward 45 years. With our expoaure to life as adults, we are, thankfully, able to understand why he couldn’t do things he ought to have done as father. His left behind a legacy we, his children, benefit from to this day. Not monetarily but in terms of our identity, our work ethics, our world view and what we consider a good trade off for a larger good. She will also learn this. Sometimes easily, sometimes painfully. But be sure that at the end of the day, she will be a daughter proud of what her father stood for. Love and hugs to all of you.
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migration is such a complex difficult experience..but you are wise and intelligent and so will your daughter be. it will be ok.
Lots of parents have to spend time doing their occupation or vocation. You may have the ability to spend time with your daughter on a more spontaneous basis than others with their jobs. Don’t cause regret, give your daughter the time and love whenever you can. It won’t be every time, but it will matter to her, and help inform her future choices in life. A relationship with a child has a time limit. Time passes and you end up with an adult child, if you are lucky. Hopefully that lasts a long time! But the time with the child is finite, it has dividing lines that define it. No one needs or deserves you as much as your family. Find the mix that makes you know you are doing all you can for her, and shoo the guilt away knowing you blessed her with a father’s warmth, time, and attention. Maybe you already have that mix and just feel some guilt. But really, the lessons for the audience and tradition and your vocation will still be there, hungry for your voice and hands. Your family has always been a huge part of your Sashiko stories. That’s a winning mix! We learn so much from those personal and familial threads and it flows right with the needles and threads. There really is no way to separate them, is there?
Thank you for sharing intimacy around family and sashiko.
Fascinante historia 💪cómo encuentro en YouTube???