(Continued from Yesterday’s writing. I greatly appreciate many comments).

(Continued from Yesterday’s writing. I greatly appreciate many comments).

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No matter how much I wish to be someone else, I couldn’t. No matter what I tried to be good at, I wasn’t good enough. I tried. I believe I tried my best. However, I couldn’t be anyone. I couldn’t find anything to be good at. After all, no matter how deep I hated Sashiko, it was indeed part of who I am. 

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We can see many “positive” words. “Love yourself”, “Accept Who You Are”. They are all true. However, none of these “positivity” was helpful to me. “Acceptance of myself” is not something we can understand by logic, nor from a title or a belonging. It is from a moment of realization. For me, it was a moment of Sashiiko – in which I hated the most once, and realized it is who I am.

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Anyone has those moments of “being (remembering) who they is”. They may not like it, but it comes from memory, experience, and voices. I believe many people who enjoy Sashiko have a moment of “remembering” something – Sashiko enables them to talk to oneself. For me, the moment of thinking (caring) the memory and anyone in the memories are more important than the accurate stitches. 

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Have you ever tried to talk to the fabric? A piece of fabric with receiving a good amount of care communicates to us when we are ready to listen. And the fabric helps us to talk to ourselves. Boro is an ultimate result of this “conversation” – not technique.

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(I will stop here for now. I plan to continue this type of story on Patreon.)

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英語で刺し子を教えるようになって、「襤褸の技術を教えて下さい」という問い合わせが頻繁に届くようになりました。いつも丁寧に、「襤褸には技術等はないので、まずは刺し子を学んでくださいね」と返信するのですが、中には、「刺し子というより、かっこいい襤褸をしたいんです」と返事がくる。そういう時代なんでしょうね。”A”という興味があり、そこに到達すべき手段”B”を提供することが成功とされる。「A→B→”満足”」という一直線のベクトルなのかもしれません。襤褸は違うと思うんだよな。というか日本人の本質が違うような気もする。刺し子好きな人ならわかるかも？「A→?↓?←?↑!→”うん。満足”」ってなるときありません？

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2020-09-09 11:52:05

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