Deep down in my (Atsushi’s) Sashiko, there was always one emotion: “Anger.” I was angry to the family business. I was angry to the curse as the successor of Sashiko. I was angry to the partners/customers who chose “faster and cheaper” Sashiko over ours. Moreover, I was angry to myself who couldn’t get over this curse and move on – I always wanted to be someone else, but kept disappointing myself. I accepted the concept of “Enjoyable Sashiko & Appreciation” quite recently. Before that, I was like a knife which cut everything touches. ☆
Otsuchi Sashiko. My father’s decease. Many unfortunate events led me here to finally realize that the curse may be my fate. I share the Sashiko as a way to appreciate what we have. However, occasionally, the anger comes from deep down. And, I became mature enough to let this anger go instead of fighting back.
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There is a reason I keep sharing the Sashiko story (with some level of hesitation) over many experienced & skilled Sashiko artisans’ head. I believe I am the one who hated the Sashiko most in today’s world. Because of this anger and hatred, I can share the Sashiko as more than the “beautiful results.” It is important to accept who I am, but I never want to be satisfied with what I can do.
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沢山の刺し子の作品を拝見していて、ふと自分が異端児だなと感じることがあります。僕の刺し子の深い所にあるのは「怒り」です。刺し子が楽しいと思えるようになったのはここ数年の話。大槌刺し子との出会い。親父との別れ。良い思い出とは言えない、でも大切な回り道をして、今は「感謝の刺し子」を身近に感じることができています。それでも時々、ふと抑え難い怒り、触れるもの全てを傷つける両刃ナイフのような怒りが湧き上がるのです。刺し子に対する「なぜ」という怒り。そして何より、刺し子以外の何かに夢見ている自分への怒り。もう覚悟は決めたはずなのに。
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素晴らしい技術をお持ちの諸先輩方に恐縮しながら、それでも刺し子の想いを共有し続けるのは、僕ほど「刺し子を嫌いになった人間」は現代には存在しないと思うから。「綺麗な刺し子」は刺し子の全てではなくて、でも現代では綺麗な刺し子こそが一番で。正直、何に怒りを感じているのかすら明確ではないのだけど、その感情は否定せずにいようと思うのです。
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2019-06-01 14:56:08
Beautiful man, I’ve also been that knife
Thank you for sharing your story with us. Craftsmanship is not less beautiful for coming from a place of pain or anger, sometimes it is MORE beautiful for overcoming it.
Thank you.
I do relate too your shared stories of sashiko I find the very insightful to my own journey;although my work is not as good as yours I do appreciate this thing inspires me too keep going and learning too sashiko,so please keep sharing @sashi.co 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Very honest. You are brave to share.
Thank you so much for sharing so sincerely and with so much humility your story. I hope you find more peace in your beautiful work. Please continue to share your very own and personal sashiko.
異端児というお言葉身に染みます… 刺し子ではありませんが私も異端児で最後までありがとうという感謝の気持ちをすこしも表すこともないまま, 最後もみとどけることさえもありませんでした。
まわり道て大切な事だと思いますそれがなかったら私は成長できなかったようなきます( 50歳で初めて回り道ていいものだと思い始めてきたと同時にかなり深い傷になりました)
at the end of it all, all the anger!😡 I know, I can so relate. It is with practice and a strong desire to achieve contentment, to live peacefully within that helps. Practicing becomes ‘a practice’…a way of life and at whatever time (at the end of it all), becomes a beginning.
Your words are kindred to me. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏻😌
あつしさんが回り道をしていなかったら皆さんと知り合うことも運針をならうこともなかったと思います。
線のとおりに刺すことが嫌でやめていたと思います🤣
Powerful story. Powerful stitching.