I am not strong at all. I try to be strong, but I am not. There is only so much that I can carry on.
☆
I feel the pain almost everyday. This is the pain of someone repainting who I am (what I grew-up with). Those who stab me with a smile tell me it isn’t so painful. I want to be a Story-Teller in Sashiko & Japanese Culture. I try to be as “objective” as possible. However, I am a human – with emotion. I am not strong at all.
☆
Last 6 days, as I learned more about what is going on in this trend, I really realized where I stand now. I couldn’t stand up. I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn’t eat. I didn’t realize how much (emotional) blood I was bleeding.
☆
I welcome anyone to enjoy Sashiko. I really want you to enjoy it. “Freedom of choice and Art” is a valid concept. I respect that. However, please know that one’s “joy” may be someone’s pain. Please don’t justify yourself with your own value – especially if you are in a privileged group. What you think is “right” with complete innocence may be stabbing someone’s heart. Sashiko isn’t someone’s “trend”.
☆
–
–
–
☆
よく2年間も毎日の投稿続けてきたなぁと振り返った所で、壊れました。ご心配頂いていた方からは「”少し休みます”って言ってから休みなよ」ってアドバイス頂いていて、「休まないもん！」って意地を張った所でポキっと折れました（笑）
☆
壊れたと書きましたが、元々壊れているので、ヒビが大きくなった程度にご理解頂ければ幸いです。水はまだ入ったままなので、これ以上ヒビが大きくならないようにエポキシ剤で丁寧に修復しながら前に進みます。
☆
2021-06-18 08:35:06
Wishing you courage and strength. So sorry that these are needed.
Dear Atsushi, 😢it is hard for me to read how much you suffer over this. I hope those feelings of despair will soften and pass over time. My view is that the Japanese traditions and history of practising sashiko are not being lost or obscured. It is just changing and evolving as human beings move into a global future to be less and less defined by “race”. To some “white” culture can seem like a big vacuum sucking up all the shiny things it is attracted to, but I don’t believe its as ignorant or as cruel as you may think at this point of time…yes, some will disagree.. making that statement I don’t want to imply that white ppl get to be the arbiters or that others will be forced into acceptance of homogeneity or losing their regional, national and cultural traditions – we must ensure these histories are preserved, celebrated and acknowledged! But moving inevitability into a globalised world means needing to learn how to appropriately negotiate ways of both sharing and protecting each others cultural traditions. This process of change can feel like loss…You are an important stakeholder in this process who has established a place as a respected voice telling the Japanese stories, we are listening to you. I am only one artisan, but you changed my approach to using the words sashiko and boro and I share what I learned from you with others, so the ripples spread…
ok, i’m feeling compelled to write this… and i know it may be (most likely will be) hurtful… but it is intended with love and admiration. i feel it is needed to be said.
ok, i’m feeling compelled to write this… and i know it may be (most likely will be) hurtful… but it is intended with love and admiration. i feel it is needed to be said. i followed you because i was interested in learning more about the history and cultural significance of sashiko. when i am interested in something, i tend to deep dive into the history. i was excited to find someone who was of the culture who claimed to be teaching the history…. and i do mean claimed. i’m been following you for many many months now and reading what you say… and i’ve yet to see one piece of history or cultural information about sashiko posted. all i ever see is posts complaining about the wrong teaching of others. how they have no right. how they hurt you. but you don’t even use that as a way to say “hey, this is wrong… this is what it really is” you just complain that they are teaching at all. so i’m left with nothing but a foul taste in my mouth and no learning from all of it. i do care that bad teaching and distortion of the history and culture are hurting you and will leave a lasting impact on how the art is seen and what it means… but i honestly think that if you wish to continue to call yourself a teacher, you need to start actually teaching something. stop complaining that others are… and share. i’m eager and waiting. i want to learn. i’ve sought you out as a source because you claim to have the background to understand and teach proper significance. so teach it! please! (i really am sorry if you are hurt by this… but i hope you take some time to think about what i have said and take it to heart. it’s meant with the best of intentions.)
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Идеально! Очень красиво!🔥🔥❤️
You cannot control what others do and therefore you cannot allow yourself to be upset about it. What you do is offer insights into the authentic. The sewing technique of running stitches is one that can be found globally in a variation of forms, but the history, experience, the Japanese philosophy that goes along with Sashiko is what makes it authentic and this is what goes deeper than just copying a pattern of stitches. Carry your authenticity with pride and do not distress yourself with what others are doing because that is out of your control.
Thank you for being here to help. As a white person I found sashiko as part of learning about mending and wanting to properly preserve the things I own (being remarkably poor also helps for motivation on that score 😂). I am glad I have learned of it because it has been more widespread and “trendy”, but as it is part of another group’s culture I need to be sensitive and careful, and your reminders and teachings are so helpful to give me the nudge in the right direction ❤️
i am truely sorry that was all you took my my earlier comment. i won’t try to clarify my points, as i’m afraid that would only add discord… not understanding. i hope that sometime in the future, you might go back and read it again when you are not so emotional, so that you might see more of the positive in it, and less the negative. it was and still is meant in sincere positive intent. and to clarify the question you asked… no, i only know you from instagram and only see what you post here. i’m sure i am not alone in that. it’s not unreasonable for people to have an impression of how you present yourself based on a single platform.
@sashikostory when i said sometime in the future you might try reading my comment again when you were not so emotional… first off, this seems important to say, i saw no negative in being emotional. it was not meant as a slight. simply, that the emotions you wrote about in the original post might be making it easier to see the negative interpretations of what i said than it was to see the positive ones. text it hard even without language and cultural differences. so much of human communication is nonverbal… text can easily be taken in many different ways, and we all have our own personal baises that help shape which ones seem more prominent in any given moment. this is not a negative to you or to me… it is a difficulty of the form of communication that makes it more likely to result in hurt and missunderstandings. i was hoping that maybe in the future, it might seem more constructive, as i had intended it. and not seem an attack, which was not intended, but did seem to be how it came across to you and why i apologized for that being what you received from it.
@sashikostory to your point about links in your profile… googling your name… etc. this is where misunderstanding arises. yes, i could do all those things. yes, i probably should. but none of that would change the point i was making about the impression you are sending to people who only see you on this one platform. what i was trying to show (and probably very clumsily, i’m not the best at explaining what i mean most times) is that, to people who see your instagram (at least recently) and are drawn to the beauty of your work, what you have said is almost entirely very negative comments about non-native teachers. i used the word complaining… and i can see from your response that that word came across as if i was saying that you were not expressing legitimate thoughts and feelings. i did not mean it that way. i had tried to say in my original comment that the hurt it is causing is real and needs to be said. my only point is that it needs to be balanced. if you want people to learn and change attitudes. while i can go find that from you in other places, there will always be many many people out there that won’t bother to. they will see more weight of negative about the hurt on the scale than positive teaching and decide to walk away. at the moment, from my perspective, it seems you are in danger of having that happen with people… and i simply was suggesting you bring a little more balance to not have them turn away. i believe that was the goal you wish and my intent was meant to try to help with that. and again, just to be clear, i am not at all judging your emotions or the depth of the hurt that all of this causes to the culture or to you personally. it needs to be acknowledged and expressed.
@jessica.cheng.og while I admire you desire to defend him against a perceived attack… I believe that name calling and telling someone what their feeling and intending are uncalled for and unproductive. I never said that people didn’t have a right to interpret what I said in any way they wanted to. I simply expressed my wish that someday my words might be given a second chance at understanding. I also made no claims about my ability to understand or communicate anything being in any way superior to anyone else. My mention of emotions was not a negative. If you see emotions as negative, then I can see why you would be offended by what I said. I’m sorry you were. But I think that being able to express emotions is brave and admirable. And I do believe that all emotions add to how we interpret and respond to the world. Strong emotions were mentioned in the original post. I believe that claiming any apology for misunderstands is gaslighting is extremely toxic, as it prevents any misunderstandings from being resolved… and punishes someone for caring that a misunderstanding occurred.
I am sorry. I believe the clear stream you’re tending to will outlast the current flood. I hope you can gather strength from those who believe so as well. On a side note, what you teach is perfectly clear, if you open your ears and empty your cup 🙏
@jessica.cheng.og i have read the book you referenced. i also have not name called or or told you your feeling or intentions once. you repeatedly have to me. you are using very aggressive and biased language to try and shame me that has nothing to do with what i actually said or the constructive point i was trying to make. i don’t feel there is any positive in continuing to engage with that.
You are not alone on this path. I often tell people that the words and conviction and strength that guides me comes through me but not from me. I am but the vessel through which my ancestry and heritage speaks, and I claim no ownership of it. Even the pain is guiding and strengthening you as you continue to feel the stabs, get up and keep talking, and keep being a voice that so many others who feel your pain obviously relate to. We are but the conduits through which truth and light continues to shine into a world of illusion and delusion. I know it probably doesn’t feel like it some days, but this is a privilege.to have the words to speak the pain of so many who can’t do it for themselves. You are not alone Ji 🙏🏾