Ok. Enough is enough. This is a strong message, so be mindful when you read it. I got a case of “Your [Fun] can be harmful to someone in a different situation/culture”, and I am sharing it because it can explain the “Cultural Ignorance” I am experiencing.
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(Please don’t read below if you don’t feel well)
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It is NOT a bully who can define the pain of a bullied person. Everyone knows that. However, when it comes to a culture, some people ignore this fact. Some commented that the photo which I show the “front” side of Boro-to-be Jacket is funny because it looks like I am flashing. Well, everyone has their own views. Therefore, I kindly replied “It is NOT funny, and the comment is disrespectful” because there was a reason/story for the posture. If the discussion ended there, I wouldn’t have any issues. However, it got worse by them pushing that “the sense of humor is important (even over someone’s pain.)” This mindset is very similar to Cultural Appropriation. Someone’s fun(joy) is more important than the pain (even over twisting the original culture). Although I am not well-educated enough on the issue of “White Supremacy (W/S)”, this is probably the W/S because “they think their value matters over someone’s pain”. I am saying “It is painful and not funny”, and they are saying “You shouldn’t feel pain and it is funny (even worse, demanding to explain why it hurts)”. Isn’t it the case of W/S? If not, please educate me. I have never experienced this in Japanese setting.
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By the way, I do not own an explanation for what I post to a stranger . When I share my pain because of their views, they have 2 options, (1) Change the view or (2) simply leave. Demanding an explanation/answers without “imagining about others” is very much non-Japanese things to do. I felt like I was forced to look at something nasty in terms of cultural perspective – which I may call it “Cultural Flashing”. It is very emotionally exhausting to have these cases, but it is important to acknowledge. It may be someone’s help. No one can define other’s pain, especially when they are in different culture.
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日本語では配信で語ります！すまんです。
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2021-02-21 12:02:53
I feel sorry for this situation.. yesterday I saw your post and I interpreted it in one way (beautiful, art, your artisanal work, serious/professional, in line with the meanings/ feelings your posts project).. I even remember a comment that someone said it was a good picture for a book … Today I saw this / read that “joke” and (even though that person may not wanted to be harmfull in the first place and even if you didn’t get pain) that “joke” made me look differently to the picture, and seeing something I didn’t wanted, in a perspective I didn’t wanted to see, not in this environment/ kind of page. I follow a lot of humour pages and I know what to expect in the comment section, I follow a lot of news pages and I know what to expect in the discussions and so on and so on … I feel really sad that people are becoming very narcisistic and everyone thinks they should be heard instead of hearing, that they must share their opinion and they think their opinion is better than everyone’s elses, and then they offend each other .. I wasn’t going to comment simply not to invade this space and splash my thoughs in here (no one needed to read) but I decided to do so because I’m really thankful that I found your page, your posts are really enlightening (shortstory: I’m learning embroidery and I feel like I was walking in the wrong direction while feeling inspired by sashiko.. I started following a lot of sashiko, boro, and other japanese arts like kintsugi, because its ideologies had a lot to do with the art project I’m begining… and then, when I found your page, you enlighted me about cultural appropriation, and I realized I have to create my own journey, even though other arts and cultures inspire me.. something I though it was a good bridge and connection, after all it was bad.. and this is amazing to see how we can educate each other and have positive impact in each other lives, and make the world a happier and more respectful place. And it is in our hands to make these virtual communities happy and respectful. I am really sorry to write such a long comment. And sorry about any mistakes in English, I speak portuguese. Best wishes to all, from Portugal ☺️
I apologize for any ignorance and disrespectful comments directed towards your image. After your explanation, there should have been an apology. Your work is beautiful. ❤️
It pains me to see this kind of disrespect. Even if they don’t understand the meaning, but when you told them it’s not funny, a right minded person would say “sorry for your pain” instead they told you to “lighten up!”. These people, I won’t even waste time sharing my views, why bother? when they do t have the decency to apologize.
I always appreciate your sharing of information, both in instruction and in culture. This person’s response simply should have been an apology, thanked you for pointing out their error, and ask to learn more from you.
This person is a bully, and is clearly making a comment to hurt you on purpose. I agree this might be a case of white supremacy overlapping with online bullying. Whoever they are, they must be a miserable person, and it is not your job to deal with them. I’m sorry this hurt you. I hope you can block and delete. They are not worth your time! Please keep educating us. 頑張って！💙
I really like your work and I understand how You feel. My respect from Argentina ❤️
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Hello friend – thank you for your educational and thoughtful posts. What you are describing reminds me of something called “White Fragility”, which is a topic Robin DiAngelo has written about. It might help provide some context to the awful situation you found yourself in – it’s certainly helped me understand racism and White Supremacy better. Your feelings are valid and it is understandable that your pain was only made worse when those people ignored them by centering their experience over your own 💛
I’m so sorry you had to deal with a such a disrespectful petulant person full of ignorant white privilege. I am white too and wish for learning every day. ❤️
Dude openly admitted to flasing hes a child in adult shoes fuck him u do amazing work dont let anyone tell you different
Oh my gosh, and I just thought your original post was a beautiful photograph of a stunning coat with lots love love in the labor of your stitches. So sorry others didn’t see that.
The only thing I saw in the photo was all your beautiful work, and if you did not have that pose how else we were able to see it? The first comment was not funny to me because it was just digging on their part in general, and they definitely made it a cultural thing by bringing up “in our country… blah blah blah” which is not only trying to one up, but shame. I am 1/2 Filipino 1/2 German born in the US, and funny most of the time when I run into people angry about cultural appropriation and things of that nature it from people who are not even part of it in any sort of way. For me personally I don’t know wether to just be shocked or offended when it’s directed in my defense. I say that only because I got stuck in front of an immigration protest and a few protesters screamed at me “we are here for you!” Ummm I was born here and did they say that because I am brown? Lol Another one is a former friend accused me of cultural appropriation because I made a fan out of feathers, but she made lumpia(eggrolls) so I asked her if that was also the same thing? Last I checked there are birds all over the place and not only one cultural makes fans. People are so strange
When a person is called out for unkind/unacceptable behavior and responds with the excuse that “it was just a joke,” the intention is to minimize the recipient’s feelings in order for the person to not have to take responsibility any pain the behavior may have caused. Could be an act of white supremacy but more likely just an ignorant insensitive person with a dirty mind. Really appreciating the comments on this thread and resources for further reading!
So sorry there are people who do not respect others They hurt us all I feel for you I feel with you 💜
You are completely right, and all your feelings on this are so valid. This is a classic example of “white fragility” where a bipoc tells a white person “Hey you may not know this, but that’s racist. It’s hurtful. I don’t want you to do that.” The white person then becomes so offended that you’ve told them they’re racist, they then basically ask you to apologize for calling them racist/defend their action as not racist/tell you now they are the victim because you’ve called them racist. The important note is that often the bipoc is saying that specific action is racist, but because white people are so “fragile” discussing race, they feel you are calling them a racist person as a whole. (And being called a racist is the worst thing you can call a white person). White fragility is one of the tools used to uphold White Supremacy. By re-directing the conversation to make you say they aren’t racist, it completely avoids changing the racist action you have called out. It stops any change from happening. If you want to read more, the book White Fragility is a good read. I think it’s especially good for white people. I am white, and I have learned so much from that book. (also, please, if anyone else wants to add to this. I am not an expert, just trying to learn what I can to help.)